An Open Letter
to Apple Corps and The Beatles
Dear Apple Corps and The Beatles,
The Boobles are MASSIVE fans of the music of The Beatles. Many of the talent involved with this project have even dedicated their lives to performing the music of The Beatles in tribute bands. We have researched the recording notes of the original Beatles sessions and purchased the official Abbey Road plug-ins and a digital vari-speeder for the studio for that authentic “Beatley” sound. We have about 4 sets of the complete stereo re-masters and 3 of the complete mono re-masters between us. We all have collections of t-shirts, mugs, hats, song books, guitar straps, DVDs… and so much more Beatles stuff…. In short, we love the Beatles, yeah, yeah, yeah!
As the originator of this project and lyricist of all the parodies, I would like to openly profess that this project is being prepared and hopefully presented with the utmost respect for the unequaled body of work The Beatles have given us. We only seek to continue the theme of love and charity that the Beatles promoted by giving of our personal time, money and talents to create something fun and light-hearted to help combat such a serious and deadly disease as breast cancer.
Most of us have been touched in some way by this disease. My own mother-in-law, at this writing, is an 8-year survivor thanks to advancing treatment, a strong support system and most of all, a fun-loving and positive attitude! My own wife is at high-risk because it runs on both sides of her family. Even Sir Paul McCartney’s own mother and dear wife Linda were tragically claimed by breast cancer. This is a disease that affects almost all of us, and personally, I want to do something about it.
But what can I do? I’m just a working-class, hand-to-mouth kind of guy. I’m no scientist or rich philanthropist; I just hang out with musicians and write comedy songs! In my opinion though, I have to do something other than just pray and wish breast cancer would go away. Wishful thinking is one thing… creative action is entirely another! Thus, “The Boobles” was born: the comedic bent for parody that I love, the great musical inspiration and spirit of The Beatles, and the dream of being able to somehow help mankind for the future.
The Boobles isn’t for everyone. It is tongue-in-cheek and comes from the perspective of lots of macho-nonsense for comedic effect. It is a comedy project, not to be taken seriously aside from the end result we’re striving for. It was born of the attitude exhibited by most of the breast cancer survivors that I love, talk to and party with… breasts don’t define them, they are not “dirty” or “nasty”, and after confronting their mortality in battle with a deadly disease, they just aren’t that big of a deal! Don’t be afraid of them, don’t be so prudish… celebrate your boobs, your ta-tas, your lovely lady lumps!! So it is with this attitude that I have approached creating The Boobles.
I write this as an open letter to implore Apple Corps. and The Beatles to understand what we are doing here. We are not undermining the music of The Beatles and subjecting it to smut. We do not believe we are making a mockery of The Beatles through the existence of The Boobles. On the extreme contrary, the music has been revered, from using the same kinds of guitars and drums and mics (after one session, over two evenings, one of our guitarists left with twelve different guitars from being as precise as he could), down to trying to emulate some of the innovative recording techniques used to make such impressive music (just minus all the tape!). There’s a lot of love in these tracks from these guys. For my part, the lyrics have been written with an eye to NOT be dirty, rather to provide light-hearted, boob-based themes for comedic effect.
All this being said, we implore you, Beatles and Apple Corps., please do not attempt to shut us down, or issue one of those “cease and desist” orders that have famously been issued in the past. We’re obtaining the proper mechanical licenses so royalties are paid. This project will not affect The Beatles and their legacy or sales whatsoever… but we CAN have a positive affect on the treatment and cure of breast cancer for many, many women, and it’s to this end that we dedicate this effort to the countless numbers who have already fallen victim to breast cancer.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a thousand times: All we are saying, is give teats (and us) a chance.
Rock on, boob-lovers!
~ Eric Tomme
“Juan Mellon” of The Boobles